On December 4, 2012, one of my best friends, Scott, passed away. I had to write him one last letter. I wanted to remember everything we did together and write down every reason why he was my best friend. One amazing kid, I'll tell you that.
Dear Scott,
Yesterday, your brother Russ called me with some of the worst news I have ever heard. He told me what happened at 2 in the morning and we both cried. I stayed wide awake for three more hours. My mind literally was racing with every moment I had with you. I kept trying to think of every single thing we did together. I felt like if I went to sleep, I would forget about all of our moments together. I have to get this all out of me because, Scott, you changed my life forever. You have no idea the influence that you were on me. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for you and I don’t care how cliché that sounds, it is the honest truth.
When we first met, you knew about Jake and Amir. NO one knew about Jake and Amir. We were at a bonfire and that was the conversation that started it all. Another random time, I borrowed your grey OBEY shirt. You know,the one with all the colors on it? When you came back to get it, you, me and Michaela all sat out in the hallway of Taylor Hall and talked. You always attributed that shirt as the item that started our friendship. You would come over every single day and we would either walk to your Alpine apartment or one of us would hop on your pegs of your bike or ride that tiny skateboard you had.One rainy afternoon, I hopped on those pegs, just me and you, and we watched Modern Family for hours. I still watch that show to this day.
You always had these reasons for things you did that were sometimes absurd. You wore two watches just because it was a conversation starter. And I still can't believe that actually worked. You were so set on being interesting and funny. You taught me that the best compliment from people was to be interesting because it meant that you were unlike anyone else. You loved comedy. Anytime you had a funny joke that you were proud of, you’d tell me to write it down for your stand up. I wish I had written every single one of those jokes down.
You introduced me to so many things: TV shows, movies,comedy skits. The reason I love movies as much as I do today is because of you.You showed me Kiss Kiss Bang Bang- my all time favorite movie- which led to my Robert Downey Jr. obsession. I still have the RDJ posters from your Esquire magazine hanging up in my room. You kept this ongoing list of your favorite movies. Then you made a Facebook note with the top 100. When you watched, It’s all Gone Pete Tong, you were so excited because you knew you had found your all time favorite movie. I was so happy for you when you called to tell me.
You never did hesitate to call me. No matter what point in my life I was in, you were the best at keeping in touch. You called me a few weeks ago. I was at my internship so we talked for a few minutes and I told youI would call you back over the weekend. I regret more than anything now not calling you back. I remember one night when you, me and Michaela each made a list of 100 things that make us happy. Still have that list. It’s in my glove box. I wonder what’s on your list.It’s been so long I can’t remember. The three of us would go to the store and buy broccoli and we would cook it (actually we steamed it with your awesome steamer) at all hours of the night. Remember when we went to Park City? How can you not. We got stuck in a traffic jam in the middle of a blizzard. So, we got out of the car in the middle of the highway and took pictures. I still look at those pictures. We walked around Sundance looking for celebrities. Then we went home- after we got lost for five hours. I ended up driving home while you and Michaela slept in the car. I’m still scared of driving in the snow.
The second to last weekend of freshmen year, we went to a bonfire. I was sunburned so the fire was super hot. You had this weird Buddha beaded necklace that I loved wearing. I wore it that day at the bonfire. We matched too, we both wore turquoise. You lost that necklace a few days later and I don’t think we ever found it again. I wish I had it or something to remind me of you. My heart hurts so bad right now Scott, I can’t even believe it.You taught me how to torrent movies and I still do it to this day. You knew everything. You were one of the smartest people I knew. You bought this old typewriter. We would take turns typing with it. You thought it was the most awesome thing ever. You always burned this Bath and Body Works candle- the green aromatherapy one. That smell will always immediately remind me of you.
I remember when we watched Half Nelson together. You pointed out the scenes you loves and we rewatched them. During that movie is when you coined the phrase “Whattayagonnado.” Which, I still use to this day. You had your weird lingo. You told me about boarding school when you and your friends would say “purple please thanks bye” or “please bye purple thanks.” You would interchange those four words which made absolutely no sense but I still laughed when you told me. You always made me laugh. Everything you said was interesting and clever. Me and Michaela loved being around you and hanging out with you over hanging out with anyone else.
When me and Michaela moved into Liberty Square sophomoreyear, me and you got to hang out for a whole week-just us. We rode longboardsto Dominos and you helped me move in. You were going to move back to Colorado.When you told me I was upset, but you hadn’t told Michaela yet. I told youevery day to tell her. When she came back to Provo to move in, you finally didand she was upset too. I remember we all went longboarding around Seven Peaks.The day you left Provo, you came into work to see me and say bye. As soon as Isaw you, I started bawling. I had to leave work I was so upset. Later, me andMichaela both cried and we sat outside of our door and opened a new chapter of ourlives without you. We knew we had to make new friends but we didn't really wantto. We were reluctant at first. You came back in January though for a quickvisit. I’ve never been so mad at a person in my life, but I was also so willingto forgive you at any time. I could never lose you as a friend.
You always were such a great friend. I could depend on you for anything. And you always listened to me when I wanted to talk. My aunt, grandma and cousins came down to take me shopping one weekend. You woke up at 7:45 a.m.and rode over on your bike just so you could meet them. They thought you were hilarious-you had red hair. Remember that? You dyed it for some reason. To this day, they ask me about my redheaded friend who was an English/Journalism major. You were the one who convinced me to get a longboard. Me and you went to Industrial, the shop in the University Mall and I bought my Arbor board. I still have it. Then, me, you and Brooks played on his trike in the parking lot. You looked ridiculous on that thing.
I remember the last time I saw you Scott. We were both in Newport and you came and found me on the beach. It was just seven months ago.You got out of your car and it was SURREAL seeing you. We walked up and down the beach and talked. You were different. You seemed so grown up. You loved it there in Colorado, you told me. I wish that I had kept in touch better. The last thing you texted me was on July 2nd. You said, “Hey guess what band I’m listening to?” I said BJM and I was right. Brian Jonestown massacre was your favorite.
You’d always text me and say things like, “Dig my Facebook status” or “Dig my new profile picture.” I always did and I would tell you what I thought. You always valued other peoples’ opinions. You would text me quotes from movies or shows. You were the one who got me to watch It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. We both agreed Charlie is the best character on the show.
Remember when I told you I had never thrown shoes over a telephone wire? You didn't skip a beat. Five minutes later we were outside in the rain with a pair of your old sneakers. You looked hilarious in the middle of the street. On the second or third attempt, they came back down and you ran out of the road when a semi drove by and all 18 of his wheels ran over your shoes. I’ve never laughed so hard. Finally we got those shoes up there. They were there for a while too, on the corner where Denny’s is. Every time I drove by, I pointed out to all my friends, “I helped do that.”
Scott, you taught me a lot of things. You taught me to be different and to be confident about it. I’m never scared anymore to make a fool of myself and I know it’s pointless to get embarrassed. You made this album on Facebook called Cups Without Lids (it all stemmed from Michaela’s love of cups.) One day I tagged a bunch of those pictures. On one I wrote, “nobody puts Mcgee in a corner.” You laughed so hard. Making you laugh was the best feeling ever. You never hesitated to stop in any moment and point out how great that moment was. You would say out loud, out of the blue, “This is such a good moment!”
You never hesitated to tell me you loved me. Even our last phone call when I was at work. You’d always end any conversation by saying we were still best friends. Then you would tell me you missed me and loved me.Without fail. Scott Chapin Gardner, you were my Mcgee. When everyone else called you Scottie, me and Michaela stuck with Mcgee. Or when Russ insisted your nickname was Scooter, well we would sometimes call you that too.. I will always always remember you. You mean more to me than you will ever know. And I still consider you my best friend Scott. Always. I can’t wait to see you again and I know I will. I love you so much Mcgee and I will miss you forever. Love, Meagan.
